The One Where Joey Improvises
by sue-sylvester-shuffle
Summary: Chandler reads lines with Joey to prepare the actor for a role he's up for in a new play, and it becomes an awkward situation when Chandler's character feels the way about Joey's character that he feels about Joey. (CHANOEY.)


The door opened, rousing Chandler from the episode of _Baywatch _he was watching. He muted the television and swivelled around in his chair to see Joey coming in, shrugging off his backpack as he entered. "Hey, Chan." said the Italian actor, grinning as he threw his pack down onto the ground by the door.

"Hey, Joe, how was the audition?" asked Chandler.

"Oh, I think it went pretty well. I got my lines for the callback." Joey waved a stack of papers stapled together at his roommate.

"Great job."

"Thanks. Hey, do you think you could read some lines with me?"

"Of course." Chandler patted the recliner next to his. Joey grabbed a beer from their fridge before sitting down in his recliner.

"Cool, thanks, Chan. Okay… here. I want some practice for this page." Joey flipped his package until he found the page he wanted. Various lines were highlighted. He handed it to Chandler.

"You want me to read as… Jerry?" asked Chandler, peering down at the script.

"No, ah, that's me."  
"So you want me to read as… oh, geez. You want me to read as Francine?" Chandler raised his eyebrows. "God, Joey. Why do you always have me read as women?" It was awkward when Joey made him read as the female lead. Chandler had feelings for Joey, and it was hard enough sleeping at night- no, his father hadn't screwed him up, why do you ask?- and not letting his feelings affect his everyday life, and his friendship with his roommate. When he had to read as lovesick women who wanted to stick their tongues down Joey's throat, Chandler felt he connected a little too much to the role, speaking as someone who also wouldn't mind sticking their tongue down Joey's throat. Thankfully he'd never had to read as a wisecracking funny guy with virtually no life skills who also had a huge thing for his roommate. Apparently that wasn't very marketable.

"Well, 'cause the girls next door don't read as well as you do." Joey said. Chandler searched for the sarcasm in his friend's voice, but Joey sounded completely sincere. _He always is, _thought Chandler. _God, why is he so sweet?_

"Fine." Chandler cleared his throat, and started to read. "Um… okay, here we are. 'I need to talk to you about something, Jerry.'" He tossed the papers back to Joey.

"What is it, Francine?" Joey recited. He tossed the script back.

"'It's just so hard seeing you with Marissa. I love her too much for this.' Who's Marissa? Is this some kind of girl-girl thing?" Toss.  
"Oh, I wish! But no. She's your sister. Well… Francine's sister, anyway. Er… 'I knew you never liked me. I see it in the way you look away.'" Toss.

"This is cheesy as hell." remarked Chandler. "I can't believe someone actually wrote this."

"Yeah, I know. But if I get the part, it's gonna pay me. So keep reading."

"Fine. 'It isn't that, Jerry. You're wrong.'" Toss.

"'Then tell me what's bothering you.'" Toss.

"'I don't hate you. In fact, it's quite the opposite. I have feelings for you.' Ugh. Joe, do you really want me reading this to you?"

"It's okay." Joey said. "Just keep going."

Chandler swallowed hard, feeling uncomfortable in his own skin. "All right. 'I have feelings for you. No… it's more than that. I _love_ you.'" He tossed the script back with sweaty hands. Reading this brought him all the anxiety of actually telling Joey how he felt, with none of the benefits. How did he get roped into _this_ one?

"'You can't be serious.'" Joey responded. "'I don't believe you, Francine. You don't like me. That's just how it is.'" He tossed it back to Chandler, who missed it and had to get up to fetch it back.

"'That's not how it is. You don't understand.'" Chandler said, scanning the script. "'I love you so much, Jerry, but it can never work between us. You're marrying my little sister, my dear Marissa. As a child I always protected her, and I don't want to hurt her now. What would my friends think of me if I did that? Would they leave me alone? And you, Jerry, would you leave too? Who knows how long we would last? Would I really trade all I have now for something that may not last as long as a bottle of wine?'"

Chandler did not toss the script back. What he had just read out loud was so stunningly similar to how he actually felt about Joey that he could have written it himself. With a few minor changes, of course. It fit if you took it out of the context of the play. It would never work between him and Joey not because Joey was marrying his sister- Chandler was an only child- but because Joey was _straight _and telling him that he had feelings for him would only screw up their friendship. And what would Chandler and Joey's other friends think if they decided to be a couple? Chandler had grown up homophobic because of his hatred for his father, and he had projected that homophobia on everyone else, whether they actually felt that way or whether it was just his imagination. Would Monica, Rachel, Ross, and Phoebe be supportive or not? And of course, the last part carried through perfectly; would Chandler trade his life for a potential relationship with Joey, the biggest womanizer he knew? Even if Joey _was _interested in Chandler- which was highly unlikely, of course- there was no doubt that the actor would leave him behind as soon as he set eyes on some gorgeous woman. Then, of course, Chandler would be hurt, and even Joey would be able to see it. What would be left of their friendship then?

Although the writing was quite good, albeit a little cheesy, it was the worst script Chandler had ever read. He would have to back out of seeing this play when the real performance rolled around. _Maybe I can fake being sick,_ he thought. _Or, you know, stab myself._

"Hey, man, it's my line." Joey reminded him. "Are you okay? You look kind of weird."

"Yeah, I'm okay." lied Chandler. "Sorry, I just have a headache. Here." He tossed the script back to his roommate.

"Thanks. So… where were we… oh yeah. 'I can't believe it. All this time I thought you hated me… when really you felt about me exactly how I feel about you.'" Toss.

"'But you can't love me, Jo- I mean _Jerry. _Jerry. What about, um, Marissa?'" Toss, and a near miss. He had almost slipped, almost used Joey's name. Why was Joey's character named _Jerry? _Why couldn't it have been something like Mark, or Glen?

"'I'm only marrying her because I wanted some sort of connection with you.'" Joey read out. "'I love you so much, Francine. You're, like, ten times better than all of the other girls I've dated. We have so much fun together, and I'd love it if we could spend the rest of our life together.'" He tossed it back.

Chandler looked down at the script and immediately frowned. Joey's line had ended at 'I love you so much, Francine'. There was nothing after that, except Francine's next line. His heart jumped into his throat and for a few painful seconds he couldn't breathe. "Were you improvising, Joe?" he asked finally, his voice sounding laughably high-pitched. "Or am I just blind? I can't see that line anywhere in here."

"Neither." said Joey. "I was just talking. But not to Francine." He pulled the script from Chandler's hands. "This is really weird for me, Chan, 'cause what these guys are saying kinda reminds me of... well... how I feel about you."

Chandler's heart skipped a beat, and for a second he thought he was going to throw up all over Joey and his script. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"I'm saying I think I'm in love with you, Chandler." confessed Joey. "That last part was for you."

Chandler opened his mouth but no words came out. He swallowed hard; his mouth felt like someone had poured a cup of sand into it. Joey stared at him anxiously, looking a bit like a lost puppy, waiting for his roommate to speak. He was never nervous when it came to dating. _Maybe that means this is important to him,_ thought Chandler. The notion gave him a little hope. And finally, he found the words. "I was thinking the same thing." he said. "Having to read that part where I said I loved you nearly made me puke my guts out."

"So you _don't _feel the same?" Joey looked crushed.

"No, you idiot, I love you too."

Joey grinned goofily. "You mean it? Good. Want to make out now? It's in the script."

"Well, if it's in the script, I guess it's fine." Chandler replied, smirking.

They both leaned forward. Chandler wrapped his arms around Joey's neck, and Joey circled his around Chandler's waist.

"Tell me this will last longer than a bottle of wine." whispered Chandler. The cheesy quote didn't sound so cheesy then. His face was mere inches away from Joey's, and the scent of the actor's aftershave was filling his nose and mouth. They were close. Very close. Their proximity seemed to be sucking in all of the air around them like a black hole, leaving Chandler breathless.

"I promise." Joey replied. He leaned in. Chandler leaned in. Their lips were about to meet when Joey suddenly pulled away and added, "Unless the bottle was, like, huge, y'know? 'Cause obviously I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but the wine might last longer if it was the world's biggest bottle of-"

"Oh, shut up." said Chandler. He leaned in even more, bridging the final gap between them.

Maybe the play wouldn't be so bad after all.

end


End file.
